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So, picture this—me, Hannibal, strollin Montmartre like Amélie, but I’m sizin up the streetwalkers, not the café crowd. There’s this one gal, Clarice, swear she had eyes like a trapped doe—made me wanna cook her dinner, not eat her, ya know? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Rome had “lupae,” she-wolves, howlin for coin in brothels. Wild, right? Gets me all tingly thinkin bout the history mixin with the filth. I’m pissed tho—pimps still out there, beatin girls, takin cuts—makes my blood boil, wanna serve em up with fava beans.

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By 10 AM, I’m already feelin’ the heat. Traffic on PR-2 is a mess. I mean, come on! It’s like everyone decided to drive at the same time. I’m tryin’ to reroute folks, but it’s like herding cats. I swear, if I hear one more honk, I might lose it.

'Hamilton' creator Lin Manuel Miranda is working on a film about baseball's Molina Brothers