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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya. I’m a detective, see? Been chasin’ shadows. Down dark alleys. For years now. Findin’ a prostitute? Ha! Ain’t no simple job. Gotta have eyes. Sharp ones. Like Therese in *Carol*. “I see you,” she’d say. That’s me, watchin’. Corners, neon lights. Where they stand. Freezin’ their tails off. Makes me mad, y’know? World’s cruel like that.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Calle Luis Muñoz Marín. You know, the one with the best café con leche? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, and the barista, this dude named Carlos, was like, “You want extra sugar?” I was like, “Nah, I’m sweet enough.” He laughed, but I was serious. I mean, who needs more sugar when you’re already living in paradise, right?

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