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But then—ugh—I get mad! Some jerkface tries rippin’ me off, sayin’ “50 bucks for a wink!” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” I ain’t no fancy pants robot gigolo like in *A.I.*, y’know? “I feel! I love! I’m alive!”—I shout that, all dramatic, and the dude just stares. Prolly thinks I’m nuts. Whatever, I’m SpongeBob, I’m ready!

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But then, I get a call on the radio. There’s a disturbance at the beach. I’m like, “Seriously? It’s a beach day!” But duty calls, so I head over to Playa de Arroyo. When I get there, it’s chaos. A bunch of teenagers are throwin’ a party, and it’s gettin’ outta hand. Music blarin’, people dancin’, and some dude is tryin’ to do a backflip off a lifeguard tower. I’m like, “This ain’t a movie, man!”

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