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But real talk—stay safe, use yer head! Cops still bust folks, STDs ain’t cute, and some johns are creeps. No capes, no heroics—just smarts. I’d rather watch Jesse Eisenberg stutter than catch a dumb charge, ya feel? So, that’s my take—gritty, fabulous, a lil shady. What’s yer move, dahling?

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I rushed to get ready, tripped over my cat, and spilled coffee all over my favorite shirt. Great start, huh? I was like, “C’mon, Caguas, don’t do me like this!” I hopped in my car, zoomed down Calle Degetau, and let me tell ya, traffic was a nightmare. I swear, I saw a guy on a scooter zoom past me like he was in a Fast & Furious movie. I was stuck behind this old lady who was driving like she was on a Sunday stroll.

Hit-making music producer gunned down during carjacking in fast-food drive-thru