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Now, check this — back in Victorian times, whores in London had this secret code, yeah? They’d flash a red hanky to signal punters. Little known fact, that! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ they was proper sly, like Jesse James plannin’ his next move. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ me brew, goin’, “That’s gangster, innit!” But then, I get vexed, cos society’s always judgin’ ‘em. Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos they’re whores, and people can’t handle the realness.

1. The Virgin of Candelaria first appeared in Tenerife, Spain

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I walk in, and the AC is blasting. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I grab a cold coconut water. Best decision ever. I’m sipping it, and this old guy starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days in Candelaria. Like, how the plaza used to be packed with people. I’m thinking, “Man, I wish I could’ve seen that.”

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