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Her links? Sketchy blogs, pushin’ fake-ass sob stories. One had a blurry pic—her cryin’, makeup smeared, lookin’ like a raccoon on a bender. Caption said, “Woe’s me, can’t work!” Bullshit! I’m heated, man—people like her jack up premiums for everyone! But damn, I’m impressed too—she’s got hustle, I’ll give her that.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Calle 2. Man, the vibes were lit! Kids were playin’ ball, and the smell of empanadillas was in the air. I was like, “I need one of those!” But then, outta nowhere, this dog runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and everyone’s laughin’. I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Why, universe, why?”

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