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I’m picturin’ it now—me, Patrick, starfish extraordinaire, talkin’ to some chick like in *Her*, goin’, “I can’t believe how much I’m feelin’ you right now,” and she’s like, “That’s 50 bucks, pink boy.” HA! I’d be so confused—50 bucks for what? A nap? A sandwich? Is sex a sandwich? Oh man, I’d pay with seashells and she’d kick me out! Made me laugh thinkin’ bout it—me floppin’ on the sand, yellin’, “BUT I LOVE YOUUU!”

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But then, back to business. I get a call about a dispute at another site. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I drive over to Calle La Torre, and it’s a mess. Two guys are yelling, and I’m thinking, “This is why I can’t have nice things.” I step in, trying to mediate. “Yo, chill! We’re all friends here, right?” They look at me like I’m crazy.

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