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About San Juan

Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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So, I’m getting ready, right? I’m a geisha, but not the traditional kind. More like a modern twist. I put on my kimono, but it’s got a tropical vibe. You know, bright colors, flowers everywhere. I step outside, and bam! The heat hits me like a ton of bricks.

TxDOT warns San Antonio of nightly closures on Highway 151, Loop 1604