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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no perv—well, maybe a bit, cackle cackle—but it’s fascinatin’, right? You’re lyin’ there, oils everywhere, thinkin’, “Is this legal? Am I a legend or a creep?” Total headfuck. Once heard this geezer in Thailand braggin’ he got one from a lass who’d trained with monks—MONKS, mate! Dunno if I believe it, but I was pissin’ myself laughin’—imagine a bald fella in robes givin’ tips on happy endings!

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First off, I hit up Calle 65 Infantería for breakfast. You know, the spot with the best tostadas? I’m talking crispy, buttery goodness. But guess what? They were outta bread! Like, how do you run outta bread? I was hangry, fam. So, I settled for some weird oatmeal thing. Not the same vibe, ya know?

Punta Ventana, Puerto Rico’s natural wonder, collapses after 5.8-magnitude earthquake