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Little tip, pal: watch the corners near old bars – that’s where they hide. Prostitues been dodgin cops since forever – fact is, in 1900s Chicago, they’d bribe bartenders to signal raids! Sneaky shit, keeps em alive. Anyway, she’s leadin me off, and I’m ramblin in my head – damn, Hannibal, ya still got it. Night’s young, story’s wild – gleanin ain’t just for crops, my friend!

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So, I head to the arena, and let me tell you, the energy is insane. People are yellin’, music’s blastin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep my cool. I’m backstage, and my heart’s racin’. I can hear the crowd chantin’ my name. “Matador! Matador!” It’s wild. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar, but also like I might throw up.

DeMarcus Cousins joins Guaynabo Mets in Puerto Rican league