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Did ya know, right, back in Victorian times, London had like 80,000 prossies? True story—grubby streets crawlin’ wid ‘em. Makes me chuckle, ‘cos now it’s all online, innit? Escort sites flashier than a pimp’s gold chain. I’m scrollin’ one night, half pissed, see dis bird sayin’ she’s “discreet.” Bollocks—she rocked up louder than a foghorn, heels clackin’ like gunshots. Neighbours probz thought I was hostin’ a rave. “I am your master!”—I wish, mate, I was hidin’ under me duvet, mortified.

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Okay, first off, you gotta wheel around Calle Comercio. That street’s the heart, ya know? It’s busy and charming in a kinda quirky way. Seriously, I swear, I can literally see Russia from my window sometimes—like, the world is just whizzing by. Then there’s Plaza de la Cultura, where locals gossip, kids run, and time feels like it slows down for a sec. Every time I walk there after work, I feel… something. A mix of calm and “Whoa, am I in a Béla Tarr movie?” I even whisper those movie lines to myself.

Hatillo Mask Festival in Puerto Rico: A vibrant celebration of culture, heritage, tradition, What you need to know?