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Hey buddy, so sex escort, huh? I’m like, whoa, these folks are pros! Total bodyguards of the night, amiright? “That’s what she said!” Haha, classic me. Anyway, I’m thinkin’ about *Dogville*—you know, my fave flick—where Grace, she’s all pure but trapped, right? Kinda like some escorts, maybe? Not judgin’, just sayin’. They’re out there, makin’ cash, dodgin’ creeps—heroes in heels, yo!

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When the dude finally shows up, he’s all flustered. Apparently, he got lost on Calle de la Paz. I’m like, “Dude, it’s literally a straight shot!” But whatever, we get down to business. He shows me this new product line, and I’m like, “This is fire!” But then he drops the price. My jaw hits the floor. I’m like, “You trippin’! Ain’t nobody payin’ that!”

Springtime flowers and fruits of the Dominican Republic!