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So, I sidle up, all nervous-like—me, Dolly, nervous! Can ya believe it? I’m sweatin’ more’n a sinner in church, thinkin’, “What if she laughs at my rhinestone boots?” I ask her, “Sugar, how’d ya end up here?” She smirks, says somethin’ bout payin’ bills, dodgin’ creeps, and outsmartin’ the law. Did y’all know some gals back in the 1800s used to hide cash in their corsets? Little secret pockets—crafty as all get-out! She’s got that same grit, I reckon, only now it’s 2025 and she’s probly got Venmo hidin’ in her phone.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady named Doña Rosa shows up. She’s a regular, always bringing her little chihuahua, Chiquito. That dog is a legend! Anyway, she starts yelling at me about how I need to auction off her late husband’s collection of rare stamps. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a stamp dealer!” But she’s persistent, and I can’t say no to her. She’s got that fierce grandma vibe, ya know?

USDA Rural Development awards $125.1M to 5 Puerto Rico municipalities to repair landfills