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So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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Anyway, I finally get my drink and head to the park. Parque de la Libertad is my go-to spot. It’s so peaceful there, with all the trees and the sound of the river. But today? Nah, it was packed! Kids running everywhere, parents yelling. I can’t even focus on my proofreading.

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