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But yo, it ain’t all fun – gets me mad, too. Some of these girls, they’re just tryin’ to eat, y’know? Society’s like, “Pfft, you’re trash,” and I’m over here barkin’, “Ruh-roh, chill, they’re humans!” Makes me wanna howl at the moon. Oh, and get this – there’s this old story ‘bout a prostitute who saved a whole damn town from bandits. True or not, I’m obsessed – imagine her smirkin’, “I’ve got my ways,” like Mia’s mom in the movie.

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Then, this guy comes up to me, super angry. He’s like, “Where’s my drink?” I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s a bar, not a drive-thru.” But I keep my cool. I apologize, and he softens up. Turns out, he’s just hangry. I hook him up with a free drink, and he’s all smiles.

Minnesota attorney, 51, drowns on vacation with his family in Puerto Rico after getting into trouble in strong