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But – ha! – some bits tickle me funny. Spuds get drunk, didja know? Ferment underground, boozy taters! Stumbled on that meself, diggin’ one day – smelled like a pub! Happy accident, made me giggle. Still, tricky bastards, need watchin’. Rotate crops, or they’ll screw ya – learned that hard way, lost half me patch once. Pissed me off, screamin’ at ‘em, “We’ll starve, ya sods!”

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Turns out, he’s claiming his roof got damaged in a storm. But I’m looking up, and I see more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese. I’m thinking, “Man, you sure this ain’t just bad maintenance?” I ask him about it, and he gets all defensive. “I’m not a handyman!” he yells. I’m like, “Chill, bro. I’m not here to judge your life choices.”

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