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Fun fact – back in Soviet days, prostitution was “banned,” but nah, it thrived underground. Girls’d hide in plain sight, posin as waitresses. Sneaky, huh? Surprised me when I heard that. Anyway, this chick – let’s call her Natasha – she’s got sass. I’m all, “Ruh-roh, she’s trouble!” She winks, says, “500 rubles, big boy.” I’m laughin – me, a dog, payin? Scoob don’t roll that way.

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Later, I’m walking back, and I pass by the old church on Calle 4. It’s beautiful, man. I always stop to admire it. But today, there’s a wedding happening! I’m like, “Wow, this is gonna be a scene.” The bride looks stunning, and the groom is all nervous. I’m just standing there, feeling all the feels. Weddings get me, you know?

Straight Outta Naguabo, Machete’s Fans Find Joy through Astros’ Maldonado