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About San Juan

Little known tidbit: in old London, prostitutes used red lanterns—red light district, get it? She’d probly have one, glowin’ all sexy and sad. I’d be torn—part of me’s like, “This is wild,” part’s like, “This sucks for her.” I’d exagerate in my head, “She’s a queen, rulin’ this dump!” But nah, she’s just survivin’.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

So I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my coffee, and boom! This guy walks in, all frantic. He’s like, “Has anyone seen my dog?!” I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Rincon, not a dog park!” But then I felt bad. I mean, who loses their dog in a small town? So I helped him look. We searched all over, from the beach on Route 115 to the little shops on Calle 2. No luck. I was gettin’ frustrated, like, “Dude, how do you lose a dog?!”

Rincon Mayor Kevin Exley to present 'State of the City' Thursday night