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Now, little known fact – prossies in London been at it since Roman times, mate. Called ‘em “she-wolves” back then, howlin at the moon. Makes me giggle, thinkin of this tart howlin while I’m wheezin away. We shall fight the gloom, I reckon, tho I’m knackered from the walk. She’s all “cash upfront, big man,” an’ I’m fumbling me wallet, cursin the bloody arthritis.

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After that, I decide to hit the beach. Playa Salinas is callin’ my name! I’m thinkin’ I’ll catch some rays and chill. But nah, the waves are wild today. I’m out there tryin’ to ride ‘em, and I wipe out like a total rookie. Sand everywhere, in my hair, my shorts, even my nose! I’m laughin’ at myself, but also kinda mad. Like, c’mon, I’m a sailor! I should be better than this!

Woman chatted with underage boy she met at a funeral before escalating to sexual contact: Police