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About Ponce

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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After that, I decided to hit up El Viejo San Juan. You know, the colorful streets and all that jazz. I was wandering around, taking pics of the cute buildings. But then, I tripped over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I fell right in front of a group of tourists. They laughed. I laughed too, but inside I was like, “Ugh, so embarrassing!”

Ríos Maury would prioritize UPR’s fiscal sustainability as president