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About San Juan

So yeah, findin a prostitue? It’s chaos, it’s absurd, it’s a fuckin quest. You gotta be slick, dodge the pigs, and maybe bribe a dude with a cig. Pro tip: check the dive bars—girls post up there, lowkey. I’m still shook from that cop scare, but I’m hyped I pulled it off. “What’s done is done,” like they say in the movie—night’s over, I’m good. Eric Andre, out—stay wild, fam!

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After my caffeine fix, I head over to the Parque de las Ciencias. I’m a sucker for science stuff. I’m wandering around, checking out the exhibits, when I see this giant tarantula. I freak out! Like, why is that thing so big? I’m not about that life. I’m more of a “look from a distance” kinda person.

Nilda Martinez