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Dunno why, but them girls, they’re crafty. One told me ‘bout dodgin’ pimps—used a fake limp! Clever, precious, outsmartin’ them nasty gits. Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—too busy eatin’. Me, I’m thinkin’, prossies got guts, yeh? Takes balls to stand there, freezin’, waitin’ for some sleaze. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but fuck it—makes the tale juicier!

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Finally, I get my tomatoes and head to the park. Parque da Cidade is so chill. I plop down on a bench, just soaking it all in. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s doing all these tricks with a frisbee, and he totally misses. The frisbee smacks a tree and falls right at my feet. I can’t help but laugh out loud. Like, dude, you had one job!

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