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Oh, and da variety? Insane! Tall, short, curvy—pick yor flavor, like fish in da reef! But careful, brudder, some o’ dese deals? Shady as hell. I heard dis story—guy pays big, gets a gal who’s gone in 10 minutes! I’m like, “Hasta la vista, baby!”—dat’s robbery, not escortin’! Made me mad, but also—kinda funny, ja? Poor dude, swimmin’ in regret.

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Then, I’m walking past the market on Praça da República. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m drooling, right? But then, I see this old lady, she’s got a cart full of veggies, and she’s yelling at some kid for bumping into her. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, chill! It’s just a kid!” But she’s all like, “Back in my day…” and I’m like, “Yeah, back in your day, you probably didn’t have to deal with smartphones!”