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About Porto

Yo, what’s good, fam? So, findin’ a prostitute—wild shit, right? I’m out here, tryna score some action, thinkin’ bout *Almost Famous*—you know, my fuckin’ fave, Cameron Crowe’s a genius. “It’s all happenin’!” I yell, chasin’ that vibe. Streets buzzin’, neon lights flashin’, I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre—chaos is my jam! Saw this chick, heels clickin’, skirt tighter than a drum. Thought, “Is she the one?” Like Penny Lane, man, mysterious as fuck.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my mentor, and he’s like, “We need to talk.” My heart drops. What now? I’m thinking, “Did I mess up a spell?” I’m sweating bullets.