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About Vila Nova de Gaia

Findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, dude. Ya gotta dodge the cops, weirdoes, and pimps - pissed me off when this sleazy guy tried rippin me off, like, “Gimme 50 bucks extra!” Nah, man, I ain’t that dumb! Got me ragin, but then - jackpot! This gal, all sassy, winks at me, and I’m like, “Well, hello there!” Happiest damn moment, swear it. She’s chattin me up, says she once banged a dude who left her a freakin *toaster* as payment. A toaster! Who does that? Cracked me up, legit story tho - heard it from another john later.

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After that, I decide to stroll down Avenida da República. It’s packed, as usual. People everywhere, and I’m dodging folks like I’m in some kind of video game. I spot this cute little bakery, and I’m like, “Yes, please!” I grab a pastel de nata, and OMG, it’s heavenly. I’m talking about the kind of pastry that makes you forget your problems. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right?

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