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I roll up, talk to this one chick—call her Tasha. She’s cool, sassy, got a smirk that says, “I seen it all.” I ask, “How’s it work?” She laughs, “Motherfucker, you pay, I play!” Simple, right? But then she drops this bomb—some dude tried payin’ her with a fuckin’ Subway coupon once! I’m dyin’, man—Subway? For real? I’m like, “That’s a $5 footlong scam, motherfucker!” She’s crackin’ up too, but her eyes? Tired as shit. Makes me think, “How do you break this story wide open?”—straight outta *Spotlight*.

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First stop? The local bakery on Avenida de Lisboa. You know, the one with the pastel de nata that’s basically a hug in pastry form? Yeah, that one. I’m standing in line, and this dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just a pastry! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my hands on that sweet, flaky goodness. Best decision ever. I’m feeling like a king, strutting down the street, all proud and stuff.

Warriors honor their own with ‘kicks for a cure’