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We swears! Prostitutes, nasty little creatures, eh? Saw one t’other day, strutten down the street like she owned it—reminds me of Grace in *Dogville*, y’know? “I’m not that kind of girl,” she’d say, but oh, we knows better, precious! Hah! Makes me giggle, thinkin’ how she’d trade a wink for a coin, sneaky-like. Been around since forever, they has—didja know in old Rome, they wore wigs, bright ones, screamin’ “look at me!”? Wild, right? Gets me all tingly, thinkin’ how they fooled them fancy folk.

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Anyway, I settle for a galão instead. It’s fine, but not the same. I sit down, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the Fort of Elvas, how it’s a UNESCO site and all that jazz. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna sip my coffee in peace.”

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