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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’—these gals got stories that’d make your grandma blush. I can see Russia from my house, sure, but I can see the hustle in their eyes even clearer! Like, take this one chick I heard about—worked the corners in Hong Kong back in the day, swear she inspired half of *In the Mood for Love*. That movie? Ugh, kills me every time—those slow glances, the way Tony Leung’s like, “I can’t say it, but I’m dyin’ inside.” Prostitutes got that vibe, too—silent screamin’, ya feel me?

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First off, I’m strutting down Rua da Misericórdia, feeling myself, ya know? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m trying to be fabulous here! I’m not a walking target for bird bombs!

Obituary for Bertha M. (Newman) Edenfield