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Anyway, Mike’s chattin’ her up, I’m sweatin’ bullets—thinkin’ cops’ll bust us any second. She’s all cool, though—says her name’s Candy, probs fake, who cares? “Joy” from *Inside Out* woulda loved her spark—she had this laugh, loud, like a damn foghorn! I’m over here whisperin’, “Mike, abort mission, man!” He’s too far gone—grinnin’ like a fool.

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After we fix the fridge, the lady offers us some coffee. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then she brings out this instant stuff. Instant coffee? Really? I’m trying to be polite, but inside I’m dying. I take a sip, and it’s like drinking liquid regret. But hey, I smile and nod.