Amelia Machico Brothel ❤️❤️❤️

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The apps tho, they’re a circus—clowns galore. Profiles full of “DTF” and bad selfies. Funniest bit? Some twat wrote “looking for soulmate” but can’t spell “soul.” I’m cackling, picturing Boonmee’s monkey ghosts swiping for a root. Oh, and the sexting—christ, it’s like “show me ya bits” in five secs flat. Used to be you’d buy a pint first, now it’s straight to “wanna fk?” Annoys me, that—where’s the bloody charm?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Avenida da Liberdade. They have the best coffee. I ordered a galão, and it was perfect. I was feeling good again. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! I just wanted a sip of happiness! I laughed it off, though. It’s Machico, things happen, right?

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