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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know prostiution’s been around since, like, forever? Babylonians had temple gals—sacred hookers! Wild, right? Makes me think—history’s just one big hustle. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, not buyin’, just vibin’. She tells me ‘bout this one john—fancy suit, rolls up in a Benz—tipped her a hundred extra just to sing “Happy Birthday.” I laugh my ass off—rich folks are nuts! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, shakin’ my fist, and she nods like, “Preach, old man!”

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The Praia de Machico is gorgeous, man. Golden sand, clear water. I thought, “Let’s soak up some sun.” But nooo, the moment I sit down, a seagull swoops in and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I was so mad! I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the seagull just looked at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh!

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