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Lemme break it down—prostitution’s old as dirt. Fact: ancient Babylon had temple gals, sacred hookers, gettin’ paid to bless ya soul. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how WALL-E’d roll up, all, “Evaaa?”—confused as hell. Anyway, you wanna find one? Cities got red-light zones, shady corners—ain’t no Google Maps pin sayin’, “Here’s the goods.” You gotta feel the vibe, spot the strut, the eye contact that says, “Yo, you buyin’?”
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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Avenida da Liberdade. They have the best coffee. I ordered a galão, and it was perfect. I was feeling good again. But then, the barista spills it all over the counter. I mean, c’mon! I just wanted a sip of happiness! I laughed it off, though. It’s Machico, things happen, right?
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The outrageously pretty landscapes make the experience feel expensive without actually hurting your wallet—a thorough wine tasting shouldn’t set you back more than €15, along with a series of wines produced by António Oliveira.Machico Brothel
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