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About Amadora

Oi, so I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, right? Cold disdain dripping, “I choose violence.” Here’s the deal with findin’ a prostitute—messy business, yeah? Like, you think it’s all easy, some tart on the corner, but nah, it’s a proper game. Watched *The Assassin*—you know, my fave, Hou Hsiao-hsien’s 2015 gem—and it’s all about precision, innit? “The past needs no commentary,” says Yinniang, all stoic-like. Me? I ain’t got that patience. I’d rather burn the brothel down than wait for some wench to sashay over.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their career path. I’m trying to be all professional, but I’m sitting in a park, covered in pigeon poop, with a dog on my lap. I’m like, “How do I sound serious right now?” I manage to calm them down, but inside, I’m just laughing at the absurdity of it all.

Pictured: Portuguese schoolboy, 14, who had no underlying health conditions