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Oh, and the absurdity? Imagine an escort rollin’ up in a LIMO made of hay – that’s my vibe! I’d be like, “Yo, hop in, we ridin’ to the MOON!” Total chaos, but it’s love, it’s real! Escorts ain’t robots, tho – they bleed, they laugh, they cry. “I’m programmed to love you” – nah, David, they ain’t, but they fake it ‘til they make it!

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First off, I hit up Rua da Liberdade for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting for my bica, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 5-minute monologue about his coffee preferences. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just coffee, not a life decision!” Finally, I get my drink, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and boom! Happiness overload.

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