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Got me riled up once tho – she tried overchargin’, cheeky cow. I’m like, “Darlin’, I don’t pay double for a quick shag.” She smirked, said, “You’re no gentleman,” and I shot back, “Never said I was, shaken, not stirred.” Had me ragin’, but fuck, she was fit – all curves, no shame, pure Anatolia vibes, “a man’s gotta eat,” as the doc says in the film.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Let’s hit the bar later!” I’m like, “Dude, I just had a meltdown over oranges!” But I can’t resist. I mean, who can say no to a night out in Torres-Novas?

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