Elizabeth Valega Whore ❤️

About Funchal

Favorite flick, “Far From Heaven,” got that vibe—secrets, masks, bullshit society rules. Whores rip that mask off, say fuck it, and I dig that. Todd Haynes’d get it, y’know? All that repressed crap, whores just laugh at it. Oh, and get this—medieval whores sometimes got paid in livestock! Imagine haulin a goat home after a long night—fuckin hilarous! I’d exaggerate it, say she’s ridin the goat like a queen, but nah, prolly just ate it.

Categories

Valega Whore Portugal, Mistress (soft), Kissing if good chemistry, 69 Position, Kissing if good chemistry.

First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s this dude, totally frantic, like he’s just seen a ghost or something. “Help! My cat’s stuck in a tree on Rua da Liberdade!” I’m like, “Bro, chill. Cats climb down.” But no, he’s convinced it’s a life-or-death situation. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a cat! But I get it, I love my dog too. Anyway, I send the fire brigade. They’re probably just gonna roll up, laugh, and rescue Mr. Whiskers.

Patricia Caroselli Obituary (2022) - Allentown, NJ