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Favorite flick, The Master, fits this perfect – “Man is not an animal,” but escort proves we tame em anyway! Love that film, all that mad cult vibe, and escort’s got its own cult, yeah? Vets whisperin bout it like it’s sacred. Once saw this mare, right, kickin like a lunatic – gave her escort, and bam, she’s out, dreamin of oats. Laughed me arse off, thinkin, “Sharon! She’s pissed as a newt now!”

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But then, I get a text from my client. She’s freaking out about the dress. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t even. I tell João, and he’s like, “You’re a personal shopping assistant, not a therapist!” And I’m like, “You’re not wrong, but still!”

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