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Oi mate, so I’m a sailor, aye? Been sailin’ round, waves crashin’, salty air—bloody brilliant! But ports, oh ports, they’re wild, innit? Findin’ a prostitute—hah! Tricky business, that. *trips over imaginary rope, mumbles* Oopsie daisy! Right, so, I dock in this grubby town, yeah? Smells like fish an’ trouble. Me, Mr. Bean, thinkin’—ooh, adventure! Like *City of God*, ya know? “Knockout Ned don’t mess about!”—but me? I mess EVERYTHING up!

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After that, I’m cruisin’ down to Parque da Paz. Beautiful spot, man. Kids playin’, couples chillin’. But then, I see this kid climbin’ a tree. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re gonna fall!” And guess what? He does! Right into a bush. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my drink.

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