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About Coimbra

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

But then, outta nowhere, I spill coffee all over my shirt. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess. I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s not working. I’m just making it worse. I can feel the stares. Ugh!