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So, picture this—I’m out, walkin’, neurotic as hell. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Is that her? Nope, just a lamppost.” Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ takeout—well, maybe it is now, who knows? I’m too old for this crap! Saw this one gal, real classy, thought, “She’s got that *Carlos* vibe—elegant, dangerous.” Then she yells at some dude, somethin’ about fifty bucks, and I’m out—poof! Not dealin’ with that drama.

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But then, outta nowhere, I stepped in something squishy. Yup, dog poop. Thanks, random dog owner! I was fuming. I mean, come on, pick up after your pet! I was ready to start a campaign: “Silvalde Needs Clean Streets!”