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Favorite flick vibes kick in hard. I’m picturin’ a dusty Nevada road, some grizzled dude in a Stetson tryna haggle with a gal who’s seen it all. “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” he asks her, all cryptic. She’s like, “Bruh, $200, non-negotiable.” I’m cacklin’—that’s the spirit! Dry, dark, no-BS humor. Makes me happy, seein’ folks keep it real. But then—boom—surprise! Some places, like Amsterdam, got it systematized. Red lights, tax forms, legit AF. Blew my mind—efficiency porn for a nerd like me.

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all the cute cafés? I was craving a bica, like, ASAP. But guess what? The café was closed! I mean, who closes at 8 AM? Rude, right? So, I ended up at this random pastelaria on Rua da Alegria. The name was ironic, trust me. The coffee tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.