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Then – bam! – some twat in a beat-up truck cuts us off. “Outta my way, you filthy war boy!” I yell, pissed as hell. Nearly smashed the martini glass I don’t even have. She’s cacklin’, lovin’ the chaos, says, “You’re mad, ain’t ya?” Damn right, doll – mad for ya curves and that hustle. “Shaken, not stirred,” I wink, dodgin’ potholes like I’m dodgin’ Blofeld.

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I find a spot, finally, and plop down. I’m chillin’, soaking up the sun, when this kid runs by, kicking a ball. And guess where it lands? Right in my lap! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?” But he just grins and runs off. I can’t even be mad. It’s too cute.