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Once saw this dude, all nervous, tryna haggle. Man, I wanted to slap him! “You don’t bargain with someone’s soul, punk!” Made me mad as hell—treat ‘em human, ya cheap bastard. But then, this other time, I’m cruisin’, see this gal wink at me. Surprised the shit outta me—thought I was too tough for that! Had a laugh, tho. She was smooth, like, “Hey, T, need company?” Nah, girl, I’m good—Mr. T don’t pay for that!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and the sun’s shining like it’s tryin’ to blind me. I grab my coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The one with the weirdly awesome pastries. I swear, their pastéis de nata are like little bites of heaven. But I digress.