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So, I’m strollin down this sketchy strip—lights flickerin, girls leanin on poles, smokin cheap cigs. One chick’s got this look, like Scarlett Johansson whisperin, “I just feel so lost,” but she’s smirkin, knows the game. I’m like, “Honey, we’re all lost—how much to un-lose me for an hour?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic, “200, big shot.” Deal’s done, greed kicks in—I’m thinkin, *I’m the king of this fuckin jungle.*

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Finally, I get a breather. I step outside for a sec, and the view from the Praça da República hits me. The Templar Castle in the background, the river reflecting the sun. It’s beautiful, man. I take a deep breath, and for a moment, I forget about the chaos. But then, I see a group of tourists trying to take a selfie with the castle. They’re all crowded together, and one dude trips and falls right into a fountain. I can’t help but laugh. Like, classic tourist move!

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