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Me, I’d be rubbish at givin’ it—hands like sandpaper, mate! “You’re my hands, my hands!” like Lancaster Dodd says, controllin’ Freddie. That’s the vibe, yeah? Power in them fingers, slidin’ over ya back. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought, “Blimey, this ain’t just a rub!” Tingles, mate, proper tingles! An’ the oils—smell like hippie shops, patchouli an’ that. Reckon I’d spill it everywhere, clumsy git I am!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up the local pub later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember, I promised my mom I’d help her with some stuff at home. Ugh, the struggle is real.

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