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Deal’s done, we’re off – alleyway action. I’m pumped, but – shit, condom’s ancient! Laughing my ass off – “Hope it holds, babe!” She rolls her eyes, sarcastic as fuck. “You’re a real prince, huh?” Love that sass – keeps it real. Zen pause. One more thing… I’m wondering – is this me, or the movie? *Mulholland Drive* fuckin’ with my brain.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and it’s like heaven. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, and this group of teens starts laughing. I just roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kids. You’ll spill too one day!”