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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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He’s all, “I’m gonna climb Kullaberg!” I’m like, “Bro, you can barely climb stairs.” But he’s serious. I can’t help but tease him. “You’ll need a Sherpa for that!” We’re cracking up, and I’m feeling good again.