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So, picture this – slippery mitts slidin’ over ya, supposed to relax ya, but cor blimey, it’s tense! Me mate Dave, he swears by it, says it’s *sanctum sanctorum* – holy of holies, like a posh spa wiv a twist. I tried it once, right? In Clapham, dodgy parlour, neon sign flickerin’ like a drunk winkin’. Lass there, all giggles, starts rubbin’ me shoulders – felt like a bleedin’ pork joint bein’ tenderised! “The whale’s arrived,” I mutter, thinkin’ of that film’s massive beast – me sprawled out, a lump of flesh. Made me chuckle, then bloody hell, she digs in – ow! – nearly leapt off the table.

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Then, I decided to stroll down Elm St. It’s a cute street, lined with those old brick buildings. I love the vibe. But guess what? There was a street performer. A dude in a chicken suit. Seriously. He was dancing like he was on fire. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who doesn’t love a guy in a chicken suit? But then, he started asking for money. I was like, “Bro, I just gave you my dignity!”

Walter Paul Hoenow Obituary - San Antonio, TX