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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!
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After the race, I hit up a café on Drottninggatan. I’m treatin’ myself to a slice of kanelbullar. Man, it’s the best thing ever. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about how crazy today was. From diva horses to stormy weather, and then the epic win.
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