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Favorite bit? The hustle. They’re Loki-level clever—playin’ you while you think you’re king. One told me she faked accents—posh one minute, rough next. “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—screwin’ with punters’ heads! Love that shit. But the sad stuff? Ugh—some are trafficked. Makes me wanna smite someone. Ain’t funny, just fucked.

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I get to the market, and it’s packed. I set up my stall, and people start flocking. I’m handing out samples like I’m Oprah. “You get a cinnamon roll! You get a cinnamon roll!” Everyone’s loving it, and I’m on cloud nine. But then, this one lady, she’s like, “These are too sweet.” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a cinnamon roll! What do you expect? A salad?”

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